"St. Pete or Bust! 2000" story # 9

GETTING OLD
St. Petersburg, Florida           October 23, 2000

As I'm getting on in years - I turn 21 on Thursday - it seems that my date ideas are becoming less and less exciting. For "Date of the Week VII", I planned to make dinner for Ricarda from Switzerland. A pretty tame date. How sad. Where has my youth gone? The next thing you know, I'll be inviting Gertrude to play a game of shuffleboard, knit some slippers, drink some prune juice, and enjoy a night of Bingo. Perhaps my wildest days are (gasp) behind me...
     BUT!!! - the good news of the date is that Ricarda is one of the the prettiest girls at my school. Woohoo-hoo-hoo!!! She's thin and a good dresser, and she has long blond hair, round blue eyes, and a playful face that's usually smiling even when she's mad. She likes to dance and go to the beach, and she's got a cute accent where she says "I 'sink" instead of "I think." However, the date was harmless because she's got a boyfriend......but who knows for how long? (Wink, wink)
     At her apartment, Ricarda and I sat on the balcony and looked out at the Boca Ciega Bay and its green islands. We had a nice little chat - to sum it up, I'd say we basically solved all the world's problems. So, nothing too exciting. Ricarda thinks that people should do what they promise and be true to their "word", and I think all foods should be eliminated except for ice cream. Sounds like a nicer world to live in, huh?
     In my many, many, many years of living, I've learned lots of good things - but I still have never learned how to cook. I can only make two things: chicken fajitas and a delectable Snickers-Oreos-hot fudge sundae. I'd already had a sundae for breakfast, so Ricarda and I would eat fajitas.
     I failed to impress Ricarda with my cooking. The main problem was that, instead of lettuce, I got tricked into buying something disgusting that disguised itself as lettuce but was actually as hard as peanut brittle and barely edible. Rotten, treacherous plants!!! Just see if I ever go down the vegetable aisle again!
     So, I served up the fajitas and poured some apple-banana-orange juice. Dinner was served.
     Ricarda, always optimistic, tried to think of something nice to say. "Well," she said, "it's the good will that counts."
     So, my cooking wasn't too great of a success. But, I did earn one complement from my date.
     "Mmmm," she said, drinking. "Good choice on the juice."
     "Thank you," I said. "I chose the banana juice because I think it really brings out the crunchiness of the lettuce." She agreed, and we snacked on some lettuce - crunch, (yuk) crunch!
     All in all, my fajitas were actually pretty tasty besides the lettuce. In honor of the nice date I had with Ricarda, from Switzerland, I would like to include for you the Swiss national anthem:

(usually accompanied by trumpets and a tuba)
We're Switzerland!
From the snow on the Alps to the windmills on the Rhine,
And the banks of Zurich to the army knifes of Geneva.
yodel-ahee, yodel-ahoo, yodel-ahee, yodel-ooo!

From the fjords in the south to the Arctic Circle in the north,
And the bikini team in Stockholm to the...
- oh, wait, now we're confu-oo-oo-oo-used -
yodel-ahee, yodel-ahoo!

We've got watches, we've got chocolate, we've got cheese with lots of holes!
We're Switzerland!!!
Don't confuse us with Swe-eee-eee-eee-den!

So, that's the Swiss anthem!
     ...wait a second, now that I think about it I remember that Ricarda couldn't remember the anthem when I asked her. That's not the Swiss national anthem at all, I just made it up!
     I must be becoming forgetful in my old age. Birthdays are so scary. Twenty-one years old - I'm not too far away from needing dentures and a cane.
     Am I too old now to have adventures?
     Is there life after the big 2-1?
     Will "Date of the Week VIII" be with Gertrude!?

later - "Old Man" Modern Oddyseus


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