In the Slovakian capital of Bratislava, I'd stayed with a friend of my brother's. The center of Bratislava is composed of old quiet buildings that wind around each other on Medieval-era-market-style pedestrian streets that sometimes made walkway tunnels beneath the buildings. One out-of-the-way street was as quiet as countryside and traced a modest hill towards a huge Gothic church; priests commonly lived in this street's classic friar-style buildings which were in states of bleak deterioration or bright renovation.
     In the Slovakian capital of Bratislava, I'd stayed with a friend of my brother's. The center of Bratislava is composed of old quiet buildings that wind around each other on Medieval-era-market-style pedestrian streets that sometimes made walkway tunnels beneath the buildings. One out-of-the-way street was as quiet as countryside and traced a modest hill towards a huge Gothic church; priests commonly lived in this street's classic friar-style buildings which were in states of bleak deterioration or bright renovation.
     My brother's friend, Jana Macikova, wore swirly brown hair medium-long because she practices with a Medieval sword-fighting group. Like many Czechs, she complained of her country's communism age - though she'd been young then. She said her parents hadn't cared much either way when the communist period ended. I'd say Jana's conservative.
     She and I spoke a lot, over three days. She'd been to the U.S. twice tow ork in national parks. Her loves are hiking, writing haiku's for the photographs she takes, and enjoying Jim Morisson and Jack Kerouac. She showed me a poem, "Power," by Morisson, in which he says he can change the world's spinning or travel freely in time or space. She showed me a book, "some of the dharma," by Kerouac, where he speaks of Buddhism and perceiving our world as unreal and his efforts to end his suffering. Interesting.
     Unfortunately, twenty-four-year-old Jana couldn't go to photography school, so she went to the university she could get into, once there she chose her course based on what was quickest and easiest. So, she's been studying for five years to be an economics teacher just so she can say afterwards she has a diploma. It doesn't sound like we're that free in capitalism, either?

Jana's mom insisted on giving me twenty-five Euro's so that when I got to Slovakia's "Vysoke Tatra" (High Tatra) mountains, I could rent a room and not get eaten by a bear at night. I never wanna get eaten by a bear. Thanks, Jana's mom!
     During the daytime, when bears apparently are fasting, it was safe to go hike. The snow-dabbed High Tatra's are a few mountains that poke up tall from flat land and in a very condensed space. Feather-duster pine forest swarms upon the feet of the mountains, but further away there is only a wasteland of fallen trees. A few years ago, wind which had been stored between the mountains for decades suddenly escaped and swooped outside in one strong gust that knocked over half the forest. It's too bad Jana's mom hadn't given those trees some money for a room.
     My hike led around the side of one mountain, then climbed, past fresh water spilling onto the stone-paved trail, up and into a valley. It was April 28th, and I hiked on deep snow.
     The mountain valley was walled in by tall rock blockades that you could stare up at and ponder in awe. A coat of snow decorated the valley floor like a friendly queen's welcome-to-the-ball carpet. A clear and magically-gushing stream hurried through the middle. Little conifers with cute round arms watched the hikers like Oompa-Loompas, and agile birds made sweet boasts. At the valley's end, we hikers had to scale a plummeting snow hill to reach a high mountain saddle.
     The warm afternoon caused the snow to occasionally collapse under me as I returned towards my bear-less room. I tried to meditate in the valley. I felt a greater control of my powers here.

I still need the powers of others when hitchhiking.
     Slavo had driven me briefly on my way to the High Tatra's. This round, browner-skinned man owned his own factory - which dealt with wood, or something. He was smart. He told with the honey vowels of Slovakian how the European Union isn't good for Slovakia. The wealthy powers, like Germany or France, want to "vyuzivat" (use) the small countries. When asked if communism was bad, he said only in that if you didn't work you went to prison.
     He dreams of moving to Canada. Like two Slovakian owners before him, he complained he pays very high taxes.

And Marvin drove me as I was leaving the High Tatra's.
     He was also studying something that didn't interest him, but he was lucky, lazy, and laidback. The top few buttons of his loose casual shirt were undone, he didn't smell great, and his straight neck-long hair seemed hippy-ish. He invited me to his university for a party. Why not, smelly guy!?
     At first, I didn't drink at the party because I hadn't yet kissed "someone". So, this guy, Skrejcok, grabbed my face and kissed me. Damn!
     And the second-worst thing that happened that night was that I drank too much and puked all night. Slovakians drink A LOT of hard alcohol. Marvin and his friends chanted, "You either drink with us ... or AGAINST us!"
     Before the Slovakian drinking would knock me over, an older guy named Robo enlightened about the days of communism. He also showed us a bulky white shirt with pink-and-orange cuffs and collar. He was so happy when he wore that shirt. It was his "national dress," local to his small area, and people wore it when getting married or going to the army. His was eighty years old, and his grandpa had worn it while enlisting to fight in WWII.
     As for the days of communism, Robo complained that a person could only study if his father worked. But, then, he said that everybody had worked. Doctors and skilled people got only a slightly higher salary than others. But, they received preference if they applied for foreign travel or to be on the long list to buy a car.
     (People have told me often that there were long lines to buy goods during communism days. They say, "Before (in communism), the people had lots of money, but the stores were empty. Now, the stores are full, but no one has money.")

All right. Enough of that. Just like a bear poops in the woods after it eats a camper, I leave behind a MODERN ODDYSEUS' TOP 5!!! every time I visit a country for a while. You don't want to step in either, though.
     Too late. THE TOP 5 BEST THINGS ABOUT SLOVAKIA!

1. HALUSHKI -
These rubbery doughy cheesy edible balls tasted great when I ate them in The Czech, but they're from Slovakia.

2. "HEJ, HEJ!"
"Hey!" is how people say, "yes," and I love it.

3. LECOVA AND SPITZKY HRAD -
Lecova is a beautiful small Medieval-architecture town surrounded by a scarlet brown fortiftying wall. Spitzy "Hrad" (Castle) is the biggest castle in middle Europe. It rises like it's levatating above a green plateau, with cruel pointy towers in drooling gray that resemeble a vampire's mouth.

4. ELAN -
This rock band had a smooth and hollow-echoing sound in the '80s.

5. PAUL NEWMAN -
He used to be a favorite actor of my college roommate, Ewan "Johnny" Smith, and he's Slovakian. (Andy Warhol was, too.)

There may not always be room for filling halushki, but for HONORABLE MENTION there is: the HIGH TATRA'S.
     THE TOP 5 WORST THINGS ABOUT SLOVAKIA! are the next logical informational tidbits.

1. IT SEPARATED FROM THE CZECH REPUBLIC -
Neither the Slovak nor Czech majority had wanted to separate. Politicians had. There is a conspiracy theory that powerful nations such as the U.S. want to split apart the weaker nations so they can be more easily dominated.

2. SKREJCOK'S KISS -
Eww. "Skrejcok" is a nickname meaning "hamster."

3. I BLEW THINGS WITH ELISHKA

4. SLOVAKIAN NATIONALISTS -
In the town of Zilina, apparently, there are Slovakian nationalists who hate foreigners or members of their country's Hungarian or gypsy minorities.

5. GYPSIES HAVE MANY KIDS -
They have kids because the government gives them more money for each.

HONORABLE MENTION is: SKREJCOK'S KISS (for extra emphasis) and IT'LL GET HTE EURO. When countries adopt the Euro as currency, it drives the prices of goods way up, but the wages stay the same. Greeks and French already complain about the damage to their quality of living.

The last thing I'll say is the Slovakian flag is kind of cool because it has three blue hills representing the country's three hill systems: the Fatra, the Tatra, and ... well, another one.

on that note: peace out, Slovakia!

- Modern Oddyseus

P.S. - I'm smelly too sometimes.

Thanks to Milan Mizera; Milan; Karel Smeykal; Slavo; Shtefan; Zdenek Jakubec; Silvo; Marvin; and Pal, Elisabeth, & Annika for the rides!
Much thanks to Jana's Mom; and Marvin for places to stay!