(See "Amazon - Climbing the River" and read it backwards, twice as fast, and in a barely telligible Scottish slur like the guy in the hammock next to me used. To simulate boat conditions, read it in the shower. Actually, the rain was falling sideways, so bring a fan in the shower with you. If you don't have a fan, sit on your head. And skip all the interesting parts - that is, if you can recognize them upside-down, backwards, and in Scottish. Also, it'd help if you imagined a group of young Columbian dancers who kept coming up and twisting your nose painfully. (This part wasn't too bad, because when the girls spoke with their slick, rolling Spanish and adorable, cheeky smiles, it just made you want to melt.)
     Enjoy the story.

Suesyddo Nredom - secnierepxe gnidaer wen, syalwa sa, uoy gnignirb